Her goodbye
by lullabylover45
Summary: Clare's had enough of her suffering. She only has one way out. will it work or get her in even more trouble?
1. Chapter 1

"I'm sorry I lead you one" those words haunted Clare for the past hour.

Those were the words that broke her already damaged heart into a million pieces. It was like the break up with KC all over again, but with more pain. When KC left me, she didn't really cry or feel sorry. Maybe a little upset but no real pain. She didn't love him after all. But, with Eli. It was a new kind of pain, the pain you know that will never go away. The one that will taunt you until you find a solution.

Clare Edwards had fallen hard for him and this was a low blow.

Even the thought of him brought her to pieces all over again. Eli. He was the one that made her forget about her parents and her past. Everything that happened with Darcy had disappeared the moment that Eli came into her life. And just like that he was gone. Like everyone else in her life, he was gone.

Its like cupid liked to play games on her and she always ended up getting burned in the end. The one with all the scars and pain was her.

Clare took this as a sign and did the one thing that she never dreamed of doing.

She slowly stood up from her bed and went to the bathroom. She took on good look in the mirror and started to laugh. Not the good kind of laugh, cause they was nothing to laugh about. It was the kind of laugh that made chills go down your back and made you shiver and freeze in your seat.

Clare slowly leaned into the sink and got real close to the mirror. Her crystal blue eyes were puffy and red from crying, her snow pale icy skin wore black mascara down her cheeks and her chin. Her short auburn hair was a mess and around her face. Clare Edwards was a mess.

She baked away and titled her head to the side.

"Look at what you've become" she slowly whispered to her reflection.

"Crying over a boy. Crying over how messed up your life is. I pity you. But you're me. So I pity myself". Hatred was in every word that she said.

Clare slowly opened the black cabinet on the side and took the one thing that automatically caught her eye. The razor. A total cliché thing to use for first cut, but it was the one way out for Clare Edwards.

She slowly pulled the razor to her face and examined it. It didn't look dangerous or like it can do any harm at all. But it was worth a try. And Clare HAD to try. She lowered the razor to her wrist and brought her sleeves up.

As the razor came in contact with her veins, Clare Edwards collapsed. A thump was heared around the house as her body collided to the bathroom floor.

Good thing her parents weren't home because right there Clare Edwards started to sob.

She cried for Eli, and kc. She cried for Darcy and how fucked up her parents were. She cried for Adam and all the pain he went through. She cried for her stupidity the most. She was so naïve and innocent.

As she was clouded with memories, she put more pleasure on the razor in her wrist.

She remembered the time her and Darcy were learning how to swim and she started to drown. Darcy didn't even try to save her she just laughed and pointed. A woman that worked in the pool had to save her life.

She remembered when she was trying to tell her parents that she had gotten an A in her first assignment for Ms. Dawes. They completely ignored her and continued to argue about Darcy and how they shouldn't have given her permission to leave them because she wasn't coming back. They hadn't even acknowledged her presence until the hearded her bedroom door slam shut.

Then the most recent memory flowed into her mind. The conversation between her and Eli. He had totally ignored her after their kiss for Ms. Dawes project. He blew her off like a bug. He was working on Morty, his hearse when she approached him. When he said the words "I'm sorry I lead you on" they were filled with hatred and anger. He wasn't happy that she liked him that was what ran through her mind.

She came back to reality when everything around her began to spin and her body went limp against the floor. The last thing she saw was blood all around her and the razor still in her wrist. Then everything went black and still.

"Clare! Clare! Honey wake up"

"Clare! Are you okay"

"Oh my god! Clare"

"She'll be okay. We stopped the bleeding on time".

All these voices filled Clare's mind as she started to wake up. Her eyes slowly fluttered open and took the scene around her. It was a hospital and she was sure of it. The walls were pale white just like her skin. There were flower curtains in the windows and two chairs by her bed. There were machines everywhere around her. There was a heart monitor next to her and wires all around her body. There was an IV tube connected to the wrist, the one that wasn't cut anyway.

She tried to get up, but her body went limp and in pain. Her whole body was sore and aching in every muscle. Then something hit her.

She was alive. She was still breathing and in this painful world.

She hadn't achieved what she wanted.

She wanted to be gone forever. Out of this place she called world. She wanted her pain and suffering to be over. She wanted to be at peace and not hear a sound or shout for once. Clare Edwards wanted to be dead and gone at last.

As sleep over took her again, she spoke one more thing.

"I guess Ill have to try harder next time"


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry, it took so long for an update. i had writers block. so yeah...**

**anyway, hope you enjoy part 2 to clare edwards suicide attempts**

Death. The one thing most people feared. The one thing that brought an end to one's life. But for Clare Edwards, it was her way out. Her escape from this cruel, heartless world as she called it.

"This time, it'll word. It'll work" Clare slowly whispered to herself.

She was standing in her bathroom floor, starring at herself in the mirror. It was the same position she had found herself only a month ago.

It had been a month since her first "suicide attempt" as the doctors called it. Her attempt hadn't gone so well, because she had ended up in the hospital with a killer headache.

After her release from the hospital, Clare life took a turn for the worst. Her life was now pure hell. He parents fought more than ever and they all knew it was because of her. She wasn't as perfect as Darcy and she wasn't as pretty as her. Every cry and shout that was heard in the Edwards house was caused by the little helpless girl, Clare Edwards.

And her Eli problems weren't any better. The whole school knew what had happened to her, by the time she had returned. They just didn't know the reasons behind her action.

But she soon learned one person knew, well thought they knew -Eli.

He thought he was the cause of her suicide attempt, he was, but not a major part anyway.

Clare could vividly remember her day back at school. Everyone had looked at her and whispered behind her back.

"I heard she was raped and tried to kill herself"

"She hasn't found god"

"Saint Clare, what has happened to her"

"Chick's a freak and psycho"

This was heard for the whole week that she had already retuned to school

And then there was Eli and Adam. They had pitied her and act differently towards hers. They had treated her like a priceless china doll that could break any second with a single touch. They had both kept their distance just like everyone else from her. But the worst part of that day, was when Eli asked her out.

She would have loved to be with him, but he didn't feel the same way.

He felt sad for her and didn't actually like or love her, but he had made a promise with Adam. And Elijah Goldsworthy did not break that promise.

But Clare had said no, the instant he asked her. She knew everything and she wasn't looking for pity.

Now, their semi-relationship was gone. Their only communication was a simple "hello" or "what's up".

Snapping back to reality, Clare found herself with pills in her hand. She had been given medication when coming out the hospital. And this was her only way out.

Her last attempt with cutting hadn't gone so well, so an overdose might to the trick.

Clare slowly swallowed each and every pill at a time. After the 5 pills were gone, she took a big gulp of water and waited. She waited for the overdose to kick in. She waited for death to come to her.

Only seconds had passed when things didn't feel or look right.

In her mind everything was spinning and losing control. A huge earthquake was taking place in her house. Everything was losing balance and falling down. If she only knew that she was the one falling down into the floor.

As Clare Edwards hit the floor with a thump, she started to shake, well more like tremble in the floor. Her hands were losing control and she felt herself slowly losing her mind.

As she slid lower and lower into death, everything slowly came back. The earthquake was over and everything was at peace.

Clare Edwards breaths came slowly and shaky. Her mind was back at resting. The loud beating noise she had heard before was gone.

The only sound in the Edwards house were Clare's last breaths.

As she slowly started to close her blue eyes, good memories flowed into her mind.

She remembered when her and Darcy had made their first cake and both had ended up wet and flour all over their bodies. They had a good laugh about that later on in the day.

She remembered when her and Eli had skipped class to work on their English assignment. He had made her scream and it was the first time that they had come close to kissing.

She remembered when the whole family had gone skiing in Maine for vacation. Darcy, Clare and her dad had gone skiing while her mom had went ice skating. It was the last time they were a happy loving family.

As she slowly took her last breath Clare took those happy memories with her.

The last thing her icy blue eyes saw was her bathroom ceiling.

For once in a long time, Clare was at peace and happy.

Clare Edwards was finally gone from this cruel heartless world.

**LIKE IT? HATE IT? review please...feel free to message me any ideas you have for stories cause i have nothing right now...thanx  
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